i cant sleep, i cant eat... though i dont wnna let it out on someone or something :(

If i'm in a bad mood, well theres a reason and effect to it.

the reason could be...

- someone provoked my anger

- im friggin hungry

- my grades are low

- well negative things.

and the effect could be...

- i get selfish

- cant be bothered to do anything

- angry for no reason to or at someone

- and well basically the things that i would regret...

sooo i thought of it and i really need yoga and meditation, thats why i really want to go to celeb fitness soo bad coz they have a class there. but till now i still cant, so th only way that i can get these things out of me is just to write it all out, like what im doing right now. i mean im not gna say names or anything, i just have to let all my feelings out, and that its not like ppl hu noes me will see this, all i know this is going to the WWW but doubt that ppl wud see blgger stuff.

i dnt like being angry at ppl, and when ppl are angry or in a bad mood i tend to be in a bad mood aswell, ok so maybe a little to much of influence but atleast not influence of personality.

and another way is to listen to music, maybe a hyperactive or a dance songs for me, if its a rock song, i tend to be sooo angry and if its a sad song i tend to get moody even worse.

im not gna share any stories here, coz i think its way personal and i wouldnt really risk it.. but i would share my feelings.

ok fine im a baby, im scared of the dark especially black out. im also scared of being alone like physically and mentally. if im at home and theres nobody home with me, i tend to freak out sooo easily. and if theres a black out i wud cry if ppl are just sleeping even next to me, ppl has to stay up and talk to me until i go to sleep or till the lights are on.

Write a story with me...

This life is perfectly unfair... its called real world (scum world) sometimes I feel like I'm trying my hardest to do the right thing.. but it seems that i ended up doing the wrong thing. 

Of course i cant blame them, because maybe i am doing something wrong :S so i think i would want to release all this by going to the gym at least twice a week and I'm actually starting to write a story... AGAIN! :D

At BIS, there was a summer (optional) task to make anything we want, it was called 'extended study', basically make your own thing based on your interest and activity during summer, so i thought if I'm not doing anything during the holidays why shouldn't i? and so i did, i made a book. 

the 1st book i made was during the last term of me in year 8 and the 1st term of me in yr 9 (grade 7 and grade 8). my 1st book was called 'friendship lasts forever', i know it sounds corny and all but i used to love talking about friendship so much before i see the real world. what the story is about? i forgot but all i know is about a new girl finding new friendship and fixing old ones. i didn't win for that, but ALL the mentors (including the ones who wasn't suppose to mentor me) liked it and saw a different me, even other teachers thought i was great for doing so. how i got the idea of this book was from the friendship idea of the book called 'present snatcher'  or i think it was something like that :S

second extended study,  i also made a book but this time was about friendships and relationships, i wasn't really into it because... i haven't experienced 'L-O-V-E' this book was made the end of term of year 9 until the 1st term of year 10. again.. i didn't win for this and i didn't like that yr's extended study, there were less ppl to participate and less known by the school. whats worse, there was no more extended study the following year.

Ans so... I love books, reading them and writing them :) i still remember when i was little i used to cut out pictures and turn them into my own story, not long and not that good, but it was basically full of imagination of a little girl.

So, i thought that i should start to write a story again, and finish when i say and think it is finished, just to let my stress out of my mind. the story is basically about how life will never have an end, things will never have an end, it may be solved for the first time, but it'll come again like a loop.

Well at first, the title of the story is called 'The unfinished story' but then i thought of it, it was too corny for something that i make myself, so i just thought of what one of the characters would say and there it was, i found my title,which is called 'Write a story with me...' 

I just finished some the intro of the 1st main character called Lana-rose Hart and this time, my book will look and sound more novel-ish than the previous books Ive made, i will say the details of what the character see, just like in a novel :) 

exams...

seriously... ive never had an easy cheat exam week :p

in BIS i cannot even or dare to drop my pen or cough or sneeze... once i make a move or make a noice, evryone is so paranoid they look at me like im an alien :S teachers are coming back and forth each table rows, peeing needed to be guarded by the teachers, bags arent allowed to be in the class, pencil casses has to be visible, no papers allowed, no translator/dictionary allowed, not allowed to leave the room without permission, not allowed to leave the room until the end of the examination time... OMG!