Thursday, 17 December 2009

real world boys...

Going out to clubbing sounds great and fun, but what if you have a piece of you wanting to get a guy where you think they'll remember your name and will definitely call you and saying I love yous over and over again just because they say you're different from the other girls... well that's all peachy keen bull$%^&!

there is NO guy so gorgeous, so great, so romantic that you can get from clubbing, the only the that you'd get out of him is his dance moves and his smoking breath snog!

They say french boys are just to die for... well not in Indonesia where all of them are nothing but AssH$%^s! a rare mix they are, most attractive accent they got, the most gorgeous look they have... but things can't be perfect! what's worse they are all just the same! they'll say things that you want to hear, they'll say the things that makes you fall hard to them!

The only way to not fall for them, well just dance with your girls! have fun with them! dance on the table! dance on the stereo! It's so much more fun when you're with your girls, though just make sure you're with someone who can take care of you or vice-versa! Don't let guys think you're easy, be a bitch on a dance floor and you'll win the stage! :)

... and that's just a little piece of the real world!

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Ela's wedding day... it was so golden and red all over the place, it was beautiful and magical because it's my second wedding i went for where I actually know the person. Weddings in Jakarta has always been beautiful but maybe the only reason that this one was more special because Ela is my family friend :)

Seeing her getting married I thought and wonder what would my wedding day be like? would it have people who I love come and see me with a dreamy gown and a fairytale wedding? It's all looking perfect and I wanted to know who would be the "one" sitting next to my bridal chair?

On the other hand, the wedding was fun because I went with my two friends and his mom and my mom too

Saturday, 5 December 2009

You'll be suprised what you can get when you least expect things to happen your way!

For the past month I have cried for something that isn't worth my tears, nothing worth much as my precious tears.. that's what Grafy said... and I figure she was right! I wanted so much from someone I ended up hurting myself, letting go is a hard thing to do but after I let go it feels so much better!

I let go by listening to party music which always hype my day up with happiness and besides that I have found new friends who are mature enough to understand my problems well enough than my high school friends, of course they'd be because they have seen it and experienced them, and what is so nice about them is that they want me to hangout with them if I'm alone. I don't want to listen to love songs anymore but now I'm starting to be ok with it. As I let go, things starts to clear up in my eyes, things may not be better yet, but it I can tell something is happening and it is for a reason that I may not know why, it hurts at first but it's for the best.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

short note :)

When you know you're about to cry or you are angry listen to hyped up songs, talk to your bestfriend(s) about it, talk to your friends for some fun and jokes, entertain your self (technology and internet!), go out, watch a movie, go to the gym, and there are so many more things that you could do!

Though the best remedy is to smile, whatever you do. Think positive and think about how anything or anyone is not worth as much as your precious tears and emotion, save them for someone you truly care for. The less you do it the better you feel everyday.

Life is not perfect. Life is short. Use your time wisely, make the right choices, take handle of your own risks from the choices you have made, enjoy the littlest things, don't rely on others too much, be independent no matter who you are with you control your own life!


Like a teddy bear you used to cuddle every night, it has seen you cry and laugh. Don't throw it away, just put it somewhere you can still see it as you grow older.

A flower may die after several days or weeks or months, but they will always grow back if you keep giving them water.

Like you baby blanket or hankie, it has wrapped you to make you feel warm, it has been wet because of your tears, it has covered your face because you felt embarrassed and or laugh.

When you look at the time, you just can't believe how things have changed and you tend to look back on what have you done to make such chnages.

Like snowflakes falling from the sky, it's so beautiful but there will be more snowflakes falling by the time it hits to the ground.

A butterfly flew by its own effort to flap its wings after they changed from a caterpillar.

Like a drug, once you taste you become addicted and you don't realize which things are wrong or right anymore and when you try to stop it kills you inside out.

Diamonds are hard to find, too expensive to buy and hard to destroy. If you ever have any, you can only have a few.

Glows in the light, silent in the dark, like petals carried by the wind, it rains when you least expect it, living like a flower, has different colors and only one is the best, it only blooms are a certain time...

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Roses cannot bloom from a tiny seed into rose petals the next day

He has been happy this month... but is it real? is it an obsession? or is there something wrong within the perfection?

"roses cannot bloom from a tiny seed into rose petals the next day, it has its own natural steps, otherwise it wouldn't be right"
This is just a metaphor I just thought of to describe the point I'm trying to say.

Have you ever changed within a month only because someone came into your life? What if the changes are not the changes that others feel negative about? Would realize them without no one telling you about it?

Some one very dear is starting to change into someone I do not know and I wish do not change, even their sibling sees this as well (at last). Although there is some of their old self in there somewhere and sometimes they would show themselves while they are with their sibling or me. I hope things maintain that way, otherwise it would be such a waste if they are changing into a worse person or into someone who would not have any friends just because of the 'someone' else. Time will tell whether they are a good person or not, I do not wish for them to be hurt, but I do want them to feel hurt to learn from the mistake they made and realize what they have done wrong.

Right now they feel like on top of the world but everyone around them sees it differently. The other 'someone' has said something not caring about them which I think they don't know about which means now I can predict what will happen to them soon or later.

I wish I could open their eyes to think with both their heart and their brain because right now they are blinded by 'love', I said to someone close to me that you have to think with both your heart and your brain but when one of them is blocked you will not be able to think right.

I have been hurt so many times by being rejected and dumped. I have never dumped anyone and I have never rejected anyone for a negative reason. I have learned how to see who is the real nice person and who isn't, now I chose to stand down and to wait because I don't like fights and I don't like losing friends.

I miss you! I will always be there for you! But if you don't listen to me, if you don't take anything that I have said then feel the pain that I had, it won't be as much but it doesn't matter because it is still pain you will have to carry. When that time comes there will be a point where I won't be right there for you. I have told you this way long ago when you still think with your brain and heart, your choices are yours to make but make sure they are the right ones!

i woof u...

Murder In The Dark...

Murder In The Dark...

My very 1st actual photo shoot by Grafy Mitchell with a standard camera <3

The idea came about since things started to change in the past two weeks, its complicated but it has been in my imagination. No I do not want to kill someone, although strangely I have wants to do so, then I let it out on pictures. I wasn't trying to send any message to that person but it was something to let my feelings out.

The story behind the photo shoot is about an innocent looking girl who turns out that she carries anger in her which makes her a psycho murderer.The story is kind of blurry because there is not much story about it :P so basically she changed and for some reason she has been bitten by some sort of sadistic fanged 'thing'.

There is another album of someone else's that may be the same although in these photos, I wanted it to be different that the other one and seem better and it did come out better because of the brutal scene of make up (3 finger scratches, bites on breast and blood spreading half of the neck).